General – Your Pickup Work Ethics

Guys who don’t succeed in life tend to assume other people’s success are due to luck, fortune, or some random factor. They don’t look beneath the surface and they don’t really evaluate how much work is truly done. I like to always use myself as an example because… well… I know myself better than anyone! As a guy who posts on many forums, I see a lot of responses. I get responses like this:

  • The only reason he gets girls is because hes tall
  • The only reason he gets girls is because hes muscular
  • The only reason he gets girls is because hes in Vegas and girls are always easy in Vegas.
  • He takes steroids
  • Its easy to get drunk girls
My question for you is… really?  Is it really just that simple?  Just be a tall buff guy and go to Vegas and girls are just jumping left and right into your arms?  Do you really believe that?  Lets dig deeper…
I started bodybuilding 4 years before pickup.  My weight before I started pickup was 200 pounds.  My current weight is 200 pounds.  During the last 3 years, I have been stable in weight and muscle mass.  My height has been a constant 6’1.  Prior to 3 years ago, I had zero lays from cold approach.  So if physique was the only factor that attributed to my results why did I have zero results back then?  Does physique compliment game?  Of course it does, but its not the sole factor.  Nothing is a sole factor in pickup.
Now lets take a look at about my gains.  Over 4 years, my weight went from 170 to 200 pounds.  This is 30 pounds in 4 years.  This is an average of 7-8 pounds per year.  Miraculous growth results?  Hardly.  Amazing genetics?  Nope.  I’m a skinny ectomorph by nature.  Its simply due to consistency and going to the gym 3x a week for years.  If I took steroids to gain 7 pounds a year, I better go ask for a refund.
Now, lets jump to the things that I did which helped pickup.  Here are the list of things I did from Jan 2011 to July 2013 (a span of two and a half years)
  1. Number of nights out per week: 2-3
  2. Number of weekends out per year: 48+ / 52 weeks
  3. Number of sets opened per week: 40 – 60 sets
  4. Total sets opened to date: ~6000+
  5. Numbers of hours shadowing a PUA coach 15hrs/week
  6. Months of improv comedy class: 6 months
  7. Months doing acting class: 1 month
  8. Number of hours of stand up comedy listened to: 300+ hours
  9. Number of live comedy shows attended: 25+
  10. Number of nights where my whole interaction was recorded and reviewed: 200+
I would say I am pretty happy with my current skill level and results.  So to get to where I am at, it took me two and a half years and performing all the tasks above.  Assuming you started out where I am, it would not be unreasonable to assume you would have to put in roughly the same level of work.  So are YOU?
The short answer is most of you are not.  I have taught over 30 guys over the course of the last 8 months, I have winged with over 200 guys over the course of two and half years, and I have followed other instructors students over this time span.  Only a SMALL FRACTION go out every week and that is the bare minimum.  Even with guys who pay me and even with me yelling at them and riding on their ass to go out every weekend, still 75% are not consistent.  How can you expect to get good if you don’t even show up for practice.  This just baffles me.  Take a look at all the other PUA coaches in the industry.  Look at RSD Tyler, Mystery, Neil, DJ Fuji, Psych, and any other coach who ever spoke at a dating summit, do you think any of them got good going out a few times a month?  Every god damn instructor I know has been obsessive compulsive about Pickup and went out 4, 5, 6, 7x a week.  Tyler still goes out like 6 times a week and hes been in the game for 10 years!  Its not magic guys.  Pickup is kind of like grinding in an MMORG, there absolutely is a minimum in-field time requirement.  If some guy is going out 2x a week and opening 15 sets a night and you’re going out twice a month and opening 3 sets a night.  Guess what?  Hes growing 4 * 5 = 20 times faster than you.  If that guy got good in a year, do you want to wait 20 years?  God I hope you guys aren’t hoping to do pickup at age 50.
I got to slack off a little bit and was able to get to where I am because being tall and buff does help and being an intern for another PUA coach does shave off time.  But still, compare the amount of work I put in with the majority of you guys and its still a boat load higher.  If you are a tall, Abercrombie model who already gets laid and you only want to go out once every other week, I get it.  But if you’re not amazing in the looks department and you’re not already witty and super funny… and you want to get results faster than me, well you better put in way more work.
I have been around enough guys that just taking a look at their starting skill level and how much work they are putting in, I know with fair accuracy if they will make it or not.  Most of them won’t make it.  Its simple as that.  Pickup isn’t something you dabble in.  Its something you commit to for many months if not years. Most people start at a baseline below average.  You want to start smashing 10’s every other week by going out once a month?  Haha, good luck buddy!  You’re reading too many e-books with marketing bullshit.  Better start making some lifestyle changes like hanging out with your friends between Sunday – Thursday and dedicate your Friday and Saturday nights for sarging and approaching.  If your buddies want to hang out, hang out with them on a weekday or during the day time on the weekends.  There is a high chance your friends are chodey too so hanging out with them less probably would even increase your growth.  Plus, as you get better with game, it is likely that you will make new friends as you start to disassociate with your old friends because you are a new person.

Cliff Notes:  Go out at least 2 nights a week, Fri / Sat.  Open 15 – 20 sets a night.  Record your sets.  Write your field reports.  Stop being lazy, its a long road.