I had been planning a Vegas trip for a while and a new student signed up just last week who was brand spanking new: zero life time approach count. I thought to myself, what better way to start off the journey to PU than VEGAS! I mean in my head, I always have a good time therefore why wouldn’t a new student have a great time? Biggest club, the hottest DJ’s and best of all, tons of hot girls and unlimited sets with great logistics.
WRONG. Stimulus overload. MASSIVE Approach Anxiety.
Over the years, I have become a person who is expressive and constantly talks about how I feel and my opinions on this and that and everything in between. A lot of new guys are quiet and they tend to hold everything inside of them. This combined with AA = completely closed off.
It was Friday night at XS and Avicii was playing and everyone was happy and rolling (not us, we ball sober). To me, this was one of the best nights ever, everyone was so friendly! To my new guy, it was just too intimidating. I read in psychology, when people change, their brain tends to align their current self as how they have been their whole lives. It certainly is quite true for me. I used to be very bad at approaching and I used to be skinny, but now when I look at the mirror, I subconsciously think I was always aesthetic with no approach anxiety whatsoever! It is only when I consciously remember my past do I realize there is a discrepancy. When guys become GOOD, many actually lose the ability to describe what it is that they are good at and lose the ability to break concepts into simpler form. What used to require concious though, has not become unconscious sub-level, primitive motor skills. A pro tennis player would have a hard time describing how he actually swings the racket just like how a natural would have a hard time describing what it is that causes him to attract girls.
Take opening for an example. When I DON’T open at the club, I feel weird. This is the exact opposite feeling a complete beginner feels. To him, opening is much more painful than standing there doing nothing is better. I am thinking to my self: “If I am not opening, wtf am I doing here? There are all these hot girls, I better hurry up and open or otherwise the night is going to end, go go go! Otherwise I would rather stay at home and play Starcraft or HON”. The point I am trying to make is, I have to be more conscious of what is going on in the students brain. I do believe without a doubt, a student must be pushed. Too many guys in the community just lack discipline and they may approach 2-3 sets a night and call it quits. That’s bullshit. I do also think that you can push a student so hard that you go past his breaking point. If you stick on the journey, its only a matter of time when you get good; there is always a chance. The rate of growth may vary based on your work ethics. If you quit due to overload and anxiety, the journey is OVER. I think when it comes to teaching, its riding that fine line of pushing as hard as you can without reaching that limit.