Met this 18 year old at the gym. Opened her…
What is establishing premise and how do I implement this in order to get the most out of my sets?
Are you tired of girl’s friend zoning you? Sick of them thinking of you as a brotherly figure than this post is for you. However if you are an absolute beginner and struggle to make girls even like you as a friend you are not ready for this step and I recommend that you practice building platonic relationships with girls first because your social skills need to be further developed before you can even consider having a man to woman relationship with someone. Crawl before you walk.
Before I go on with this post I want to clarify first what do I mean by premise? Premise to put it in short is what is the vibe of the conversation. When in an interaction you must ask yourself: is this conversation platonic? Or is this a man to woman conversation?
If you are out doing pick up it goes without saying that your agenda is to have a man to woman conversation.
The key thing to note here is it only takes one person in order to set the frame of the conversation. This can be done by either you or her. Once the frame of the conversation has been set she can either comply with the frame you have set or contest it by either leaving the interaction or giving you a shit test.
In saying this it is easier to establish a premise earlier in the interaction. It is part of our human nature to expect what has been established to continue happening throughout our encounters with other humans. For instance if you have set the frame of friendship for most of the interaction the girl will as a result expect that you continue along the lines of this frame and she will feel it is out of the blue when you suddenly say a statement of strong intent: “I’ve always liked you”. This is essentially how the “friend zone” works psychologically, and is the cause of many guys falling into the ‘best friend’ zone and not knowing how to get out. Attempting to build relationships in this way will often lead to the girl thinking you are manipulative and not true to who you are.
In order to prevent this from happening one must establish early on their intentions to avoid being seen as manipulative or too cowardly to make an advance. Many pick up artists have said this but I will repeat it again… “In order to get the girl you must be willing to lose her first”.
Now this isn’t to say you should just go up to every girl and hit her with a uncalibrated forward line like “ I want to fuck you tonight”… Your intent needs to be laid out in a subtle manner where she gets the point but isn’t disturbed by your forwardness. REMEMBER a statement of intent should not be a statement of sex unless the conversation has already moved in that direction. A simple example before we get too abstract:
Positive Statement of Intent
Girl: I’ve been travelling throughout Europe and Asia
You: Cool, I like that you’ve been travelling. I hate it when I meet girls and they are so sheltered they have never been outside their own bubble… Makes the date really boring and I want to leave after 5 minutes.
BREAKDOWN OF STATEMENT:
- Intent is here because you are implying a “WE” narrative.
- You are qualifying her which makes it known that the position of girls you want to date is open but she is merely a candidate.
- With this statement you are also saying that you have a type and you are not just willing to be with anyone.
Negative Statement of Intent
You: Your accent sounds European. Where are you from?
Girl: I’m German
You: Ohhh nooo. I’m not sure we’ll get along then. I love comedy and no German has ever made me laugh.
Girl: Hey. I’ve been told I’m funny
You: Okay Chris Rock… we’ll have to see about that. At least you’re kind of cute so even if the conversation is boring I’ll still stay just a tiny bit longer
BREAKDOWN OF STATEMENT:
- You disqualify her for being German and too serious which baits her into qualifying.
- You tease her which causes an emotive spike.
- You qualify her for being cute but you imply it takes more than that to make you stay. This additionally frames you as the prize.
As you can see the main thing that I’m trying to demonstrate is how you can incept the “WE” factor into the conversation. As always, I remind you the best way to get good at conversation is to practice conversation. LeBron James didn’t get good at basketball from reading blog posts about it.