I have been in this business for 8 years so…
This post covers everything you need to know about pulling.
But first, a quick disclaimer…
This post will go into a solid amount of detail about the technical aspects of pulling, from seeding the pull to handling objections to some cheeky techniques to make the pull as smooth as possible. I’ll provide you with heaps of examples and field tested lines which actually work.
BUT you need to keep in mind that a solid, man to woman interaction is a pre-requisite to all of these tricks and techniques. So if that’s your sticking point, get that shit in check first and THEN start working on the nuances of pulling. Like I always say why would anyone want to fuck you if they don’t even want to be friends with you?
If you’re having solid interactions, but you’re not sure how to pull consistently, this article will help address some of your questions and confusions.
If this is you, you need to gain a better understanding of the mechanics of pulling. You need to understand that every time you’re pulling, you’re asking for COMPLIANCE.
Let’s get into it:
*STEP 1: KNOW THE BLOODY LOGISTICS*
Your game plan for pulling should always be informed by the girl’s logistics. Gather the girl’s logistics as soon as possible. That way, you can work out how to make it happen and what bullshit you’re going to have to deal with.
The first step to knowing the logistics is obviously screening for logistics.
Slide these few questions into the first 5 minutes of the interaction to get an idea of what you’re dealing with:
- “Who are you here with?” (Figure out how many people are in the group and why they’re out, you want know if it’s some ridiculous going away party, hen’s night, etc.)
- “Whereabouts in Sydney do you live? (Figure out her living situation, where she’s staying tonight, etc.)
- “What are you doing tomorrow?” (Figure out if she needs to be up at 5am to work or catch a flight etc.)
Don’t bombard her with these questions like she’s at border security.
They should be woven as seamlessly as possible into a fun interaction.
Feel free to plow in some jokes and disqualifiers when dropping them, too. E.g. “Where do you live? I’m guessing somewhere where the wild girls stay (insert relevant location)” “Do you live with like 13 roommates and sleep on the floor haha?” etc).
Once you know what you’re dealing with, then come up with a plan.
Always try to get your girl into isolation and pull her without any friends.
If this isn’t possible, make sure to win over the friends, and if necessary pull one or more of her friends with her. The fewer friends you pull the better, they will only get in the way.
If she has to be up early in the morning, don’t plan to run a long set with her and pull late at night. Plan to pull early in the night and use the script below for pulling in the first half of the night 😉
Also, as you’ll see later, it’s important to know her logistics because the objections she gives you when you try to pull her will usually be related to her logistics. If you’re acutely aware of her logistics, you can better anticipate what those objections are likely to be and deal with them more effectively.
*STEP 2: COMPLIANCE MOMENTUM*
Whenever you’re pulling, you’re asking for compliance.
It requires a certain level of compliance for her to talk to you, more compliance to kiss you, more compliance to leave the club with you and more compliance again to fuck you.
This is why, from the very fucking start of the interaction, you should be building COMPLIANCE MOMENTUM, also known as a compliance ladder.
Essentially, compliance momentum is getting the girl used to saying yes to your requests.
When you do this right, the girl will be WAY more inclined to comply when you ask her to leave the club with you.
So how do you get the compliance momentum rolling?
You start by first asking for a very small amount of compliance. Then, you progressively ramp it up and ask for more and more and more compliance as the interaction develops.
The first step is to move the girl a few meters from the place you initially opened her as soon as the interaction hooks.
From there, keep getting her to comply with your requests and follow your lead. And make the requests bigger as you go.
Take her to the bar for a drink (or some PUA water lmao).
Move her to multiple locations around the club (eg. A place to sit)
Whilst doing all this, get the girl to do things for you. If she has a hairband on her wrist, you might say, “Hey let me see if you look sexy with your hair up”. Get her to introduce you to her friends. Get her to hold your drink. Get her to massage your back. Get her to kiss your neck. Etc.
ALWAYS reward her for complying with your request. ALWAYS. Whenever she comes with you or does something you want her to do, praise her for being adventurous, fun or cool and/or reward her with physicality.
Teasing her when she complies is bad game. Don’t do it.
When she doesn’t comply with your requests, ONLY THEN do you come down on her with a tease (e.g. if she won’t come to the bar, ask if she’s an alcoholic and is worried she will lean over and steal bottles from the bar).
The idea is to progressively ask for more compliance as the interaction develops and reward her positively when she does. This builds INSANE momentum and makes it super easy to pull when the time comes.
By doing this, she will constantly be saying yes to your requests. It will be reinforced in her mind that whenever you ask for something, she says yes and complies.
Then, when it comes to asking for what you REALLY want her to do (come home with you and fuck you) she’ll be primed to respond the way you want her to.
STEP 3: CONDITIONING
There are a few ways to condition a girl’s behaviour to increase the likelihood for her to comply to your requests.
A very effective way to encourage the type of behaviour you want from a girl is by conditioning her through a system of reward and punish to good and bad behaviour.
Good behaviour can be considered as any positive characteristics, investment or compliance from her.
For example – her qualifying herself – Telling you a story – being compliant to your requests – buying you drinks – willing to ditch her friends for you to drink at the corner of the bar.
You should reward good behaviour depending on how much value it holds to you and the girl.
For example, your reward for a girl telling a very personal story about how her upbringing should be significantly greater than her holding your cup for you.
On the other hand you want to punish bad behaviour and non compliance by – withdrawing your attention, takeaway – pushing her away a little bit by breaking rapport (challenges, disqualify, negative/shock humour).
After you punish bad behaviour, it is important to give the girl a smaller hoop so she has a chance to qualify/redeem herself.
Furthermore, you can also convey to the girl the personality traits you want from her through storytelling and stating personal preferences.
This is a very broad topic but I will try to summarise and give an example.
“most German/Swedish/ Australians (people of her nationality or even specific city works) from my experience have been really boring/unadventurous, but you seem quite the opposite.”
“i dated a girl who was just like you. She was adventurous, smart, and sexy as fuck. We had an amazing time together exploring Sydney.”
“I like people who are sponetaneous. I knew a girl who was just like you and we used to take sponetaneous trips all the time” Essentially you’re telling her that if she behaves like the character in your story, you will have a great time together.”
STEP 4: SEEDING THE PULL
Seeding the pull means planting ideas of future activities that you can do together. When doing so, make sure you’re qualifying the girl in order for her to feel more motivated towards these ideas.
This section won’t go much into qualification, but here are some examples:
“you seem pretty cool, we should grab a drink together later.” (general qualification and seeding)
“I love your taste in music! Everyone listens to such basic music nowadays. We should go listen to XYZ later. (Qualification on common interest and seeding)
“You seem pretty cool, maybe you can join us for after party later.”
“You seem pretty adventurous, I think you would appreciate my favourite spot in Sydney.”
It’s important that once you’ve seeded these ideas above, you just keep going, change the topic and let the seed grow. You can then go back to these seeded ideas intermittently and expand on them.
This will create a sense of familiarity towards the pull activity from the girl’s perspective.
Similarly when seeding the pull, you want to be as indirect and vague as possible since it’s asking for less compliance Some common and appealing activities are:
– chill and watch the sunrise
STEP 5: PULLING THE TRIGGER (FIELD TESTED LINES)
When going for the pull, you should aim to be as vague and indirect as possible about where you’re going.
This is because telling a girl “we’re going to go home and have sex” requires more compliance than “let’s go have a drink on my rooftop”.
Both lead you to the sex location but one is A LOT riskier.
It’s also in your best interest to disqualify when escalating to make the girl more receptive to your escalation.
And in this context, the escalation is your attempt to pull her to another location.
These are some field tested lines that maximize your chances of the girl complying with your requests:
“How would you feel about hanging out with me for 5 minutes? And if it sucks, I will just fake a phone call and leave haha” (sets a false time constraint and takes the pressure off)
“You seem really cool. I want to take you on an adventure but only if you promise to be nice to me” (changes the focus to her behavior)
“Let’s go have a drink there and if it sucks we can just leave” (offers the girl a way out if it’s shit and takes the pressure off)
“Let’s go sink a couple of shots at mine and come right back. I live just 5 minutes away.”
“Are you adventurous?”
“I’m inclined to show you my favorite spot in Sydney but only if you promise to continue to be as adventurous/spontaneous/
*STEP 6: OBJECTION HANDLING*
Even if the girl is completely down for you to the fuck the shit out of her, she’s probably going to drop at least SOME objections when you try to pull.
Every time you hear an objection more than once, you should write it down and have a scripted answer you can say to disarm her.
It blows my mind that guys who have been in game for a few years still don’t have a clever way to respond to shit like, “Uh, it’s a girls night…” and “We’re lesbians!”.
Here are some common objections that arise when you try to pull a girl, and field tested answers that have been proven to work. It is important to recognise when you should give a logical solution to her objection, as opposed to an illogical, emotional answer. I’ve highlighted the answers with L or E to signify which of the two categories it falls into.
- “But my friends are here, I can’t leave them!”
a. “Yeah same, it’s my friend’s last night here as well, so we will literally go and come right back.” (L)
b. “Yeah same, they can come join us later at the afterparty.” (L)
c. “Look my friends are here as well, and I don’t want to ditch them either, but you seem really fucking cool and I would love to have a drink with you somewhere else where we can just chill and relax. We can go and I’ll make sure you get home safely” (L)
2. “What if you kidnap me?” (Joke objection usually but sometimes real objection)
a. “I will only tie you up if you want me to.” (E, only say this if the interaction has already been super sexual)
b. “Don’t worry I gave up kidnapping for lent” said playfully (E)
c. “You can take a photo of my ID and send it to your friends if you want” (L, only if the girl is legit worried)
3. “I’m not having sex with you tonight.”
a. “Oh yeah of course, I’m on my period anyway.” (E)
b. “Who said anything about sex? I’m not that easy” (E)
It is also extremely effective to give the girl objections before she gives them to you. Basically, you’re pre-empting the objections she might say, and taking away the power of those objections if she says them.
Some examples are:
“You seem really cool, I want to take you on adventure but only if you promise not to kidnap/bully/etc. me”
“We can go chill at my balcony but don’t try anything, I’m a nice, innocent boy.”
Most objections that arise when you try to pull will require a logical solution.
You, as the man, must present solutions to address her concerns.
When pulling to a sex location, you want to be as ambiguous as possible about where you and the girl are going (e.g. “Let’s go for an adventure, I’ll show you somewhere cool”, “Let’s go for a walk”, etc.).
If she’s willing to comply without you giving her much detail about where you’re going, there’s no need to spell it out to her that you’re going to your place to fuck. This helps decrease the chances of any anti-slut defence kicking in.
HOWEVER if she’s not satisfied with a vague answer, then you should give her more detail, but AGAIN you should try to give her the minimum amount necessary to get her to comply.
Here’s an example of a conversation with a girl who wants a lot of assurance and details about where you guys are going:
Her: “Where are we going?”
You: “Adventure to somewhere more fun.”
Her: “Yeah, but where?”
You: “I’ll show you my favourite spot in Vegas.”
Her: “Yes, but where is it?”
You: “Opposite the Bellagio, best view in Sydney”
Her: “What are we going to do?”
You: “We will just have a drink and chill and if it sucks we can leave”
It is *usually* unnecessary to give this much detail about where you and the girl are going, especially when there is enough emotional investment or buying temperature.
However if the girl insists on knowing, tell her.
*STEP 7: LOWERING COMPLIANCE THRESHOLD (AKA BABYSTEPPING)*
As I’ve tried to make pretty fucking clear, pulling is ALL about compliance.
You should also realise by now that, when you’re pulling, you’re asking for a whole bunch of compliance.
But, if you break this up into smaller requests, you can make the compliance threshold way lower and baby step the pull without asking for too much compliance.
If your goal is to get her back to your place/her place from the club, try to break this up in your head into 3-5 smaller steps that would eventually achieve this result.
Here’s an example:
- Get her out the front door of the club.
- Get her to your car/a cab.
- Get her to your place/her place.
- Get her inside the front door with you.
- Get to your room/her room.
NOW instead of asking her to go home with you, just ask for each little step as they arise.
And here’s the beauty of this…
Your plans can continuously change. And you can get her to take each of the steps with you for any fucking reason you want.
If you get her to leave the club with you to get food, you could change your mind and suggest that you guys go get a drink at a nearby bar.
Then, as you’re driving, you could remember that you have vodka at your place and suggest you have a drink there.
And so on, and so forth.
This is just one example, you can do this shit any way you want to.
Figure out what you need her to do, then break it up into a tonne of smaller steps and ask her to do each of those steps. And you can come up with any reason for her to do that. Tell her what she needs to hear to get her to the next step.
Here’s some lines you can use at different baby steps in the pull:
*Leaving the club*
“Let’s go for a walk”
*Non-compliance to vague plan*
“Let’s go to a bar, it’s just over the road”
“Let’s go get food at [insert food place nearby]”
“Let’s just walk for 5 minutes and say goodbye”
“Ok, fine, let’s just walk to the door and say goodbye”
THEN… “Ok, let’s just walk to the end of the street” Etc.
“You know what, I have drinks at mine. It’s literally like two minutes around the corner, we can go for a bit and then come back”
“Actually, I’m not hungry anymore. How about we just go for a walk down by the [water/beach/etc]”
“I’m really enjoying hanging out with you, you’re actually pretty cool. Let’s hang out for a bit longer”
*At your place*
“Ok, just come up for like two minutes I want to show you the [insert interesting/ cute/ cool thing] in my place”
By structuring your pulls this way, you bring the compliance threshold wayyyy down and make it far easier to get a large amount of compliance.
PLUS, by bringing down the compliance threshold, you can get more of the compliance momentum I spoke about earlier, and quickly make the pull smooth and easy.
For example, a girl initially might not be willing to leave her friends to go home with you, but if you break it into baby steps, you can quickly turn this around.
If you get her to walk just a few meters away from her friends, then just to the door, then just around the corner, AND YOU THEN go for the big pull, she’s going to be far more likely to comply.
*STEP 8: MANAGING HER VOICE OF REASON (VR)
When you’re going for the pull, your girl is going to be sensitive to distractions.
It might be the logistical obstacles, like her friend who is trying to cock block or is having an emotional breakdown.
Or, it might be the socially-conditioned voice at the back of her head telling her that she shouldn’t be going home with a guy from the club on the first night.
Whatever it is, you need to manage her and keep her attention off the things that could fuck up the pull.
First off, the tried and true concept of pull talk should be put into full gear as soon as you guys get out of the club.
Talk. Fucking. Constantly. Run your mouth basically non-stop on the way back to yours/hers. It doesn’t have to be particularly interesting or witty, as long as you’re saying something. Make observations about the environment around you. Tell stories. Talk about your favourite food. It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re talking.
Otherwise, get her talking non-stop and take over whenever necessary.
This will keep her voice of reason off the fact that she’s being pulled and keep her logical mind occupied. This way, she’s way less likely to start thinking that she “shouldn’t be doing this”.
It also keeps her mind off any logistical obstacles, and in particular, any cock block friends filling her DM with “where the FUCK are you?!??”
Pull talk will help with this, but you also want to avoid steering the conversation towards her friends or any other logistical obstacle. If she has to be up early for work, don’t talk about her job. If she’s staying at her friend’s place, don’t go in that conversational direction.
Just don’t remind her why she shouldn’t be coming with you.
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