Having problems cold reading and finding things in your surroundings…
Not a specific how to post but just some thoughts and insights.
You don’t need a wing to start out. A lot of beginners feel the need to have a wing to go out. Sure, its kind of cool to have a wing, you guys can pump each other’s state and encourage each other and its a lot more fun… however from a technical point of view of the set, wings aren’t necessary (when you’re new).
The reason is this… a wing should not come in until the set is HOOKED. The purpose of a wing is to help you ISOLATE your target from her friends. If you’re struggling to hook most sets, a wing coming in is likely to fuck up your set even more. You should just be working on your own verbals. Think about it. If the set is not hooked, its very volatile. Any time you reach a low point, the set is at risk of leaving. What happens when the wing comes in? Its an initial disruption to the set and a lot of times the girl will leave as soon as the wing comes in because you have to address your wing and some times the girls take that opportunity to leave.
The only exception is if your wing is significantly better than you. In that case, you’re going to passively learn from him. However, if you suck, and your wings suck too, just go out solo till you’re at a decent level.
Personally, I show up to venues with friends however, most of the time I just run my own sets. Its always served me quite well. We usually meet up afterwards for food. Only in certain instances, I will text my friends to come wing me if I feel like there is a window opening and I need a distraction. I usually don’t do the whole night alternating winging and being winged.
In a nutshell, don’t go out with someone just because you feel the need to have a wing. A wing who is skilled is great but a shitty wing is far worse than going out solo.
Obviously, I demo during infields however, I do demos that I feel are pertinent to the students skill level. If you have massive approach anxiety, I will focus the demo on ways to get in state and how to rapidly open sets. I’m not going to try and demo on how to have a fucking 6-some. Seriously last week, a student told me that instead of him opening and approaching that night, he just wanted me to open a 3-set of hot girls, pull them ALL to my condo, he would wing me and have the other student wing the 3rd girl, and we would all have a merry 6-some orgy. Are you fucking kidding me? This isn’t fairy tale land where you read some pickup books and you’re magically Hugh Heffner. Even if I brought 3 girls back to my pad, the other 2 students wouldn’t have the skills to pull it off. They were complete beginners.
Also, if you are a student and I am demoing, don’t try to wing me. It usually doesn’t work out that way. Just observe me (if you want to see me progress further in set). This applies more so to loud venues and dance floor environments where girls are ADD and you don’t get to utilize your verbals as much because its too loud. I was a Hakkasan and I opened an Asian girl set and my student comes in literally less than 1 minute later, the set wasn’t hooked and the girls said “Is that your friend, HAHAHA”. I told them they were a bitch for judging my friend. Fucking Asian girls.
A lot of pickup guys don’t realize that most people are friends because they share commonalities and this doesn’t including browsing the same pickup forum lair. People who are friends tend to be in same social circles, have similar levels of fashion, hobbies, and as crazy as this sounds, similar levels of fitness and attractiveness. Look at groups of girls in social circles and clubs. If you look at a group of 5 girls, their level of attractiveness is maybe +/- 2 give or take on a rough level. You’re are rarely going to see a fucking HB10 stunner standing next to a 300 pound Rosie O’Donnell lookalike. Birds of a feather flock together.
What does this mean? If your wing exercises, you should too. If your wing wears a suit to the club, don’t be that guy that wears an oversized t-shirt with dirty baggy pants and sneakers. Actually make it look like you guys really do hang out. If the wingman’s skill is better, he can usually wing. Just note, he needs to tone down his energy as to not steal the show. If the wingman’s skill is worse, he is likely to ruin the set unless he has a baseline level of ability. For example, I can usually wing my students no problem (after they hook), but few students can wing me unless its a very low energy environment and the girls are receptive.
Pics of me winging my student. I dunno why he gave me the prettier girl. Not my fault!
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