June 2, 2019

Simple Hack To Get Rid Of Approach Anxiety

Approach Anxiety usually manifests when we over think things and get too wound up in our own heads. The best way to lower anxiety for anything is to step back and zero your mind. A few thought patterns that I recommend to lower anxiety is:

Lowering what counts as an approach. If you frame a successful approach as having to open smoothly, be charismatic from start to end of the interaction then this can be a lot for your brain to digest. If this is an issue for you I recommend that you instead set the criteria for an approach as something as simple as saying ‘Hi’. Now I’m not saying that you should continue operating in this way as you progress through game however if you are completely new to this; setting a lower expectation on yourself can make the journey easier. If you are new to the gym you wouldn’t just start benching 200 pounds and get upset when you can’t do this. When your first starting out don’t focus on doing a ‘good approach’ but rather focus on doing an approach in the first place.

Secondly, I call this the ‘what if’ method. Think about this. The worst that can happen if you approach is you get turned down and you go about your night/day and do more approaches;
or you can never take action and live your life wondering what if. Think about how this woman could be the woman of your dreams and if you don’t ever approach you will lose her forever and never find out if this woman is for you. Think of doing this approach as an opportunity rather than something terrifying that you have to confront.

Lastly have a few things ready for you to say after you do your opener. It is reassuring if you know that you have at least 5 things cemented into your brain before you do an approach so that you don’t have to stress about not having anything to say and ‘making a fool of yourself’.

Simple Approach and Follow Up Questions Layout:

Excuse me (pause), I know this is random but there’s something about you that makes me kind of intrigued and I wanted to come meet you. Hi I’m _____.

You look like… (insert observation)

How do you guys know each other?

Where are you guys visiting from?

What are you celebrating?

Are you a fan of the DJ?

All in all the best way to lower anxiety is to not put too much pressure on yourself and by having a mental preparation of the stuff you are going to say you won’t feel like you’re going to be caught off guard. If you’re new to this just try have fun with it, it’ll make things a lot easier and reduce the anxiety attacks you may be experiencing. Don’t be too hard on yourself… There is light at the end of the tunnel… I basically never get anxiety when it comes to approaching because I’ve done this so much that I’m pretty confident that nothing bad is going to happen and it’s going to be alright.

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